So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
