when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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