Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
