Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
