R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
