I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
