at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
