How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
