super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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