Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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