You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
