piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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