I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
