she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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