I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
where does the pee come out of this thing
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
