i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
