Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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