i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
