I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
