So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
