My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
