I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
