It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
