im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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