You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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