im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
