can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
