Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
