eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
