when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
