yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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