wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
