there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize