So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
