Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
