No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
