i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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