like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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