Sponge bath it is.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
