I bet he comes in French.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I stole a fireplace last night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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