Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
