let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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