Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
