no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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