If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize