i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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