out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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