Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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