he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
