All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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