just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize