Plan B is the new Plan A
its not stalking. its research.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
