Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
