Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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