what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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